dear muffin,
today I went to the gym & worked out. this happens about as often as the cubs win the world series.
my trackrecord is almost as painful as theirs, too.
however, I got to wear my brother's basketball shorts [because I don't have a pair-- case in point], which made me feel hardcore & slightly ridiculous.
the guy who walked around the track kept glancing at me when he thought I wasn't looking. either it was because I looked like a buff underarmor commercial... or else because he was amused by the girl in XL basketball shorts struggling with a 10lb weight. [I'm going with the former.]
there's something about working out; something invigorating. it makes me feel vibrantly healthy & alive. but alongside the adrenaline rush, there's the sweating part. and the huffing&puffing part. and the turn-pink-in-the-face part. I think I would work out a lot more if it wasn't for those other parts.
but that's obvious. right?
Paul told us to work out, too. to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.
haha! you say. that is exegetically incorrect. an improper use of the text. hermeneutical homicide. and let's not even get started about cultural context.
and you're right of course. but I can't help but notice similarities.
dear God: teach me to be kind-- right now, please. and while we're at it, I wouldn't mind being buff. but don't ask me to go to the gym; I don't want to sweat. and You can't possibly expect me to never say unkind things; that would be too hard. I don't like turning pink-in-the-face.
***
Working out has two phases: there's the sprint, & there's the long-haul. the sprint is a piece of cake: you sit down at the machine, or place your foot on the track line, or slip into the pool. those first few strokes are effortless. you feel your blood begin to pump; your heartrate picks up. it feels good. you tell yourself that this time, it's gonna be a good workout. this time, you won't fail.
aaand then reality hits. a few minutes into the workout, your temples are pounding, pain is cramping your muscles, and even your toes are sweating inside your socks. as if to add insult to injury your cheeks have turned blazing pink & each breath can be heard halfway across the gym. suddenly, maintaining that avowed pace becomes a lot harder... and a waterbreak begins to sound really great. you deserve a waterbreak, right? you've tried so hard. given so much effort.
My awareness of sanctification goes in spurts, too. a sermon or article or conversation will convict me, and I recognize a problem in my life. I confess it & throw myself headlong into purging the weakness. I vow that this time, I'm gonna change. this time, I won't fail.
and then reality hits. I begin to tread water. slip on the track. allow that unkind word to fly. I see the pain on my sister's face & know I've messed up again.
but I tried so hard. can't I just have a break? some applause for the effort?
It would be nice if sanctification was more like getting a pedicure. lean back, sip your latte, & watch it happen.
But the fact is, it's not. it's more like a workout: a long, sweaty, uncomfortable workout. we are being purged by fire & refined as silver. and the most uncomfortable part is that sudden crystalline realization that you can't do it.
it's true. we can't. but thankfully, it doesn't matter, because He who calls us is faithful, and He will do it. it's still not a sanctification pedicure: the creator delights in the faithful toil of his creation.
but we are assured of victory in the end.
***
when I got home from the gym, I had a blister from the rowing machine. it felt good.
I lay on the floor, and my dog came over and licked my ear. that felt good too. but nothing felt so good as the tall glass of cold water. I took one sip and then didn't stop until the glass was empty.
***
we will fall. as citizens of humanity & runners in this race, we will never stop falling. but He promises to be our Strength and see us to the finish line.
and once that finish line has been crossed, He promises us a waterbreak like none on earth.
your fellow runner,
-rory
today I went to the gym & worked out. this happens about as often as the cubs win the world series.
my trackrecord is almost as painful as theirs, too.
however, I got to wear my brother's basketball shorts [because I don't have a pair-- case in point], which made me feel hardcore & slightly ridiculous.
the guy who walked around the track kept glancing at me when he thought I wasn't looking. either it was because I looked like a buff underarmor commercial... or else because he was amused by the girl in XL basketball shorts struggling with a 10lb weight. [I'm going with the former.]
there's something about working out; something invigorating. it makes me feel vibrantly healthy & alive. but alongside the adrenaline rush, there's the sweating part. and the huffing&puffing part. and the turn-pink-in-the-face part. I think I would work out a lot more if it wasn't for those other parts.
but that's obvious. right?
Paul told us to work out, too. to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.
haha! you say. that is exegetically incorrect. an improper use of the text. hermeneutical homicide. and let's not even get started about cultural context.
and you're right of course. but I can't help but notice similarities.
dear God: teach me to be kind-- right now, please. and while we're at it, I wouldn't mind being buff. but don't ask me to go to the gym; I don't want to sweat. and You can't possibly expect me to never say unkind things; that would be too hard. I don't like turning pink-in-the-face.
***
Working out has two phases: there's the sprint, & there's the long-haul. the sprint is a piece of cake: you sit down at the machine, or place your foot on the track line, or slip into the pool. those first few strokes are effortless. you feel your blood begin to pump; your heartrate picks up. it feels good. you tell yourself that this time, it's gonna be a good workout. this time, you won't fail.
aaand then reality hits. a few minutes into the workout, your temples are pounding, pain is cramping your muscles, and even your toes are sweating inside your socks. as if to add insult to injury your cheeks have turned blazing pink & each breath can be heard halfway across the gym. suddenly, maintaining that avowed pace becomes a lot harder... and a waterbreak begins to sound really great. you deserve a waterbreak, right? you've tried so hard. given so much effort.
My awareness of sanctification goes in spurts, too. a sermon or article or conversation will convict me, and I recognize a problem in my life. I confess it & throw myself headlong into purging the weakness. I vow that this time, I'm gonna change. this time, I won't fail.
and then reality hits. I begin to tread water. slip on the track. allow that unkind word to fly. I see the pain on my sister's face & know I've messed up again.
but I tried so hard. can't I just have a break? some applause for the effort?
It would be nice if sanctification was more like getting a pedicure. lean back, sip your latte, & watch it happen.
But the fact is, it's not. it's more like a workout: a long, sweaty, uncomfortable workout. we are being purged by fire & refined as silver. and the most uncomfortable part is that sudden crystalline realization that you can't do it.
it's true. we can't. but thankfully, it doesn't matter, because He who calls us is faithful, and He will do it. it's still not a sanctification pedicure: the creator delights in the faithful toil of his creation.
but we are assured of victory in the end.
***
when I got home from the gym, I had a blister from the rowing machine. it felt good.
I lay on the floor, and my dog came over and licked my ear. that felt good too. but nothing felt so good as the tall glass of cold water. I took one sip and then didn't stop until the glass was empty.
***
we will fall. as citizens of humanity & runners in this race, we will never stop falling. but He promises to be our Strength and see us to the finish line.
and once that finish line has been crossed, He promises us a waterbreak like none on earth.
your fellow runner,
-rory
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ReplyDeletelike like like MORE. =)
ReplyDeleteThis sounded exactly like NDW:
"dear God: teach me to be kind-- right now, please. and while we're at it, I wouldn't mind being buff. but don't ask me to go to the gym; I don't want to sweat. and You can't possibly expect me to never say unkind things; that would be too hard. I don't like turning pink-in-the-face."
which made me smile. =D
I love reading your stuff.
Ah! So good.
ReplyDeleteI remember the day I thought that I would turn a new leaf...I decided it would be the very next day. Like somehow I thought I could decide in a moment that I would forever act like an angel. It didn't work as you might have noticed.
I so echo the 'sanctification in spurts'. But there's always too much pride in even those most 'humblest' moments.
like very much.