on compliments

my dear muffin,

I am sitting at my oaken desk, bouncing a slippered foot and meditatively twirling my quill pen. [metaphorically speaking, of course.] 

something you said to me today made me smile. or rather, it's still making me smile. and then it made me think. 

it wasn't anything important, really: just a little comment that rang sincere. you probably didn't think twice about it, but I knew it was heartfelt, and it made me feel better about something that was bothering me. it was a compliment that stuck.

you see, lately I've been noticing a trend in compliments. we-- and I count myself among those charged-- are guilty of handing them out like so many observations about the weather: oh hey. I like your shirt. your jeans. necklace. hair. earrings-bracelet-shoes-purse. etcetera ad nauseum. And although we do mean them, somehow the flippancy and sheer number undermines their worth. 

I remember the first time my 3.year.old cousin complimented me. she walked up to me, looked me over, and said in her tiny voice, "Hi. I like yore shirt." then she considered, and added "I like yore earrings." and finally "I like yore hair." then, having completed her duty, she skipped off to join her other little friends.

It made me laugh at the time. in her string of compliments I could hear myself, my friends, the female species in general: she had watched us, seen us exchange greetings&compliments, and concluded that that was the way things were done. when I paused to reflect, though, it made me realize how deeply ingrained this compliment-exchange is.

it's become our unconscious expectation. a meeting can hardly pass without one person complimenting the other. and then, naturally, the second person waits a suitable amount of time & returns the favor. 

let's get something straight. I have nothing against compliments. like any normal human being, I appreciate them. when well-placed & genuine, they can uplift, encourage, and brighten a person's day. 

but I've decided to watch the compliments I give out. I want each one to be special, sincere.

like the one you gave me this morning.

[can I be like you when I grow up?? =]

-rory